Friday, February 14, 2014

Sitting and thinking ...




“For our heart shall rejoice in him, because we have trusted in his holy name.  Let thy mercy, O LORD, be upon us, according as we hope in thee” (Psalm 33:21-22, KJV).


  There are times I remain quiet in my faith as I speak only to my own mind of the steadfast love of God. I can only speak to myself because I struggle with the words expected from me to address what I cannot truly give an answer.  As a pastor, I often find myself sitting in huge soft chairs listening, waiting and reflecting at hospitals where I sit in easy comfort while all around me there is an un-ending flow of questions, tears and life threatening issues. A flow of hesitant and awkward yet moving people that go in and out of the doors of the these places with various degrees of difficulty. I often see; people with broken bones, people with broken hearts, people who cannot speak, others in recovery and those beginning their first steps back to a new normalcy as their lives have changed forever. I sometimes see those that will never walk down the street again or those that will never use their hands again. I often see families who will never be the same family they were just a few minutes, hours or days before.  I often see couples changing in roles even as they come in and out of these medical facilities.

     What is my answer to those who will never again speak or laugh like they used to or do what they have always done? It now requires monumental effort for most of them to move or talk, yet they were here to find help. For some it was brokenness from birth, for others it was a brokenness from a dreadful accident, for others the difficulty comes from a stroke and for still others their brokenness came from an unfair invasion of a debilitating disease. Where was God during the moments when these packages of brokenness in arrived in their lives for these persons of various ages? Where was God when new parents saw their young child with legs that were twisted and the joints rigid when they knew straight limbs and flexible joints are required for movement from place to place? Where was God when the force of a vehicle 30 times a person’s weight crushed their normal abilities for movement and speech and left them to start over with teetering toddler-like capacities? Where was the God of compassion when an awful disease entered uninvited in a person’s life, changing the present and future with a single blow through an unwanted and unimagined spoken diagnosis of disease was given to them?

       It is difficult in these moments to find the path of faith in the providence of a loving God as we stagger through a wooded forest of unfairness, pain and difficulties. Most theological precepts of faith break down during these unintended life journeys into unknown futures of continuing pain and suffering.  If any of the hundreds of people who have passed by me over the years were to ask me a question like this, “Why did God let had this thing happen to me,” I would be awkwardly silent. I don’t know the answer and I cannot begin to speak to their pain. I might even be silent in such moments, even as I would try to stay present with them to listen and gently offer my empathy and concern. 

      Still, I know that our loving Savior, who is the Great Shepherd does not abandon any of His children, especially those who cry out to Him. I know Christ is present even if we don't sense Him. His love remains even in the silence, even in my silence. I know He is present and His love is sufficient for all these unknowns even if I hear no audible words. I know because He promises to always be with us and to someday bring us to a place where there are no tears and the bodies will be new without pain and suffering. In times of pain and suffering, we at times only have the truth in the realization that we are loved by our Heavenly Father. We have only living hope He gives us which lives in the promises He has given us.  Sometimes the situation remains but knowing God is with us makes all the difference in the world.

“Love us, God, with all you’ve got – that’s what we are depending on” (Psalm 33:21-22, The Message).



Suggested Reading … Psalm 33

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